The Simplest Way To Overcome The #1 Obstacle To DMMs In America

Simplest, but maybe not the easiest

The Simple Solution

In my last post, I discussed the #1 obstacle to catalyzing disciple-making and church-planting movements in America: social isolation. If you haven’t read it yet, I encourage you to check it out for the full explanation.

The tl;dr version is that the gospel spreads down relational lines, but Americans are spending more time alone and less time with friends and family. Smaller social circles mean fewer people to share with, which can stop the chain of disciples making disciples before it even starts.

There are several biblical solutions to this challenge, but here’s the simplest one: have a lot of friends and acquaintances.

As I write that, I can feel you rolling your eyes through the screen, but hear me out on this. I’ll share my experiences, and you might see what I mean.

Lost to Laborer

I came to Christ midway through my first year of college. In just one semester as a non-believer, I gained around 300 new friends and acquaintances. When I became a Christian, I suddenly had a large field of relationships in which to sow seeds of the gospel.

Within weeks of my new life in Christ, I was taught how to share the gospel, and the Holy Spirit gripped my heart. I was eager to tell others about Jesus.

Here’s what a typical interaction looked like as I crossed campus on the way to class or food or run club or whatever:

Person I knew: “Hey Rodger! How are you?”

Me (shouting): “I am doing AMAZING!”

Person I knew (chuckling): “Why’s it so amazing?”

Me (still shouting): “Because Jesus died for me, and He’s so AWESOME!”

Most of the time, this would lead to me sharing my testimony or the gospel—though in those early days, my communication wasn’t always clear. I hadn’t learned a simple gospel-sharing tool yet, so a lot of those conversations were high on emotion but low on clarity. Still, God worked. He proved He can hit straight with a crooked stick, and a handful of people came to Christ during my college years.

The first person who accepted Christ was a woman I’ll call Sharon. A few months after I became a believer, I started a Discovery Bible Study (DBS) with her. The DBS was a disaster—no one had shown me how to lead one. I skimmed a booklet on it and decided to wing it, which taught me my first lesson in failing forward.

Even so, Sharon came to Christ. She was well-connected because she’d grown up near the university, and God used her to lead her parents to Christ. Before graduating, she baptized one or two high school friends. In the years since, she’s gotten married, led her brother to Christ, and she and her husband have seen several neighbors come to know the Lord.

I was able to multiply disciples because I had a lot of people to share with and I eventually found someone who also had a lot of people to share with. Ultimately, I probably shared with hundreds of people during my time as a student and only a handful came to the Lord. From that handful, only Sharon became a disciple-maker. If I didn’t have a large network to share with, multiplication would have never happened.

What If I Don’t Know That Many Lost People?

If you’ve been a Christian for a long time and don’t know many non-believers, don’t worry—you can still multiply through your believing friends.

After college, I entered vocational ministry as a missionary in Houston, Texas. Eventually, I moved back to Raleigh, North Carolina, to start fresh. Most of my friends in Raleigh were Christians, so I wasn’t sure how to begin. My goal was to plant a simple church that could multiply, but where would the people come from?

Alec was a friend of a friend who had started a disciple-multiplication training group in his home alongside his wife, Beth. Alec and Beth were planning to move overseas as missionaries in a few months, and they were trying to use their time as best they could before they left. I attended the group to hang out with some other disciple-makers and quickly got the sense that Alec would start a church if someone asked him.

Over dinner one evening, I finally brought up the idea.

Alec said, “I’ve got the people, but I don’t know how to do it.”

“I know how,” I replied, “but I don’t have the people.”

God was clearly aligning our paths. Alec gathered his friends, I brought my experience, and within a month, we planted a simple church. Their friends invited more friends, and new people started showing up weekly.

When Alec and Beth eventually moved overseas, most of their friends left the church too because they never bought into the vision for multiplication. But by then, we had enough momentum to keep going. We continued training newcomers in disciple-making, and a few key people committed to the vision.

Since then, we’ve seen a few dozen come to Christ, and the church has multiplied to third- and fourth-generation groups.¹

Again, it all started because I connected with someone who had a large network. This is why having many friends and acquaintances is so effective for multiplication.

This Isn’t Going To Work For Me…

I know, I know. Suggesting “be more socially connected” as the solution to social isolation sounds counterintuitive. But this principle is grounded in Scripture² and evident in many of the most fruitful disciple-making networks in America.

Before you give up, ask yourself: Have you shared with 100% of the lost people you know? Have you trained 100% of the believers you know? Not 50%. Not 90%. 100%.

If you’ve prayed and reached out to everyone you know without gaining traction, you’re not alone. America’s fragmentation can make this an uphill battle. Honestly, I could have easily gotten stuck if not for God’s grace.

Don’t lose hope. Having many friends is the simplest solution, but it’s not the only solution. I’ll share more options in future posts.

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1. If you don’t know generations are a way to track multiplication. The church or group you start is the first generation. If someone from the gathering starts their own church, that’s a second generation. If someone from the second generation gathering starts their own group, then that’s third generation, and so on

2. I’ll elaborate on this in a future post